A Dad’s Guide to Building Strong, Healthy, Independent, and (Mostly) Awesome Humans
Let’s get real—parenting is basically trying to raise small people who don’t end up needing therapy because of us. It’s a tightrope walk between letting them fall and catching them just before they faceplant into lifelong bad habits.
In our house, we’re not aiming for perfect. We’re aiming for strong, healthy, independent, confident kids who don’t crumble when life throws a curveball—or when the WiFi goes out.
Here’s the playbook we (mostly) stick to:
1. Own Everything. Even When It’s Not Your Fault.
Look, life’s not always fair. Sometimes your sister eats the last cookie. Sometimes your team loses because a kid on your side tried to dribble with his face.
Still your responsibility.
We teach our kids that even if something wasn’t their fault, they still get to choose their response. Blaming, whining, or saying “But he started it!” doesn’t fly. Take ownership. Adapt. Move forward. Then maybe you get another cookie.
2. Two Phrases That Will Get You Launched Into Orbit
There are exactly two things my kids are not allowed to say unless they want a full-on motivational speech from Dad (complete with hand gestures and bad metaphors):
• “I can’t.”
• “It’s not fair.”
“I can’t” means you’ve already decided to fail before trying. We don’t do that. You can, you just don’t want to—and that’s a different conversation.
And “It’s not fair”? Buddy, if life were fair, I’d have hair like The Rock and a metabolism like my 8-year-old. Life’s not fair. Get over it and get after it.
3. Embrace the Suck (That’s Where Growth Happens)
We tell our kids this often: Doing hard things makes you strong.
Whether it’s tying your shoes, losing a wrestling match, or doing math that looks like an alien language—struggle is part of the process. We don’t jump in every time they’re uncomfortable. We watch them struggle, sometimes with popcorn. Because growth doesn’t happen when things are easy.
It happens right after the tantrum. You know the one.
4. Monkey See, Monkey Do—So Be a Good Monkey
If we want our kids to be kind, healthy, respectful, and hard-working… then we’ve got to be kind, healthy, respectful, and hard-working.
That means eating decent food (and not just sneaking snacks when they’re in bed).
That means putting our phones down (even though memes are hilarious).
That means getting off our butts and moving (even if our knees make that Rice Krispie sound when we do).
Our kids are watching us more than they’re listening to us. And frankly, they don’t listen much anyway—so we better make the visual stuff count.
5. Confidence Comes from Competence (and Reps)
Confidence isn’t a participation trophy. It’s built by doing things—especially hard things—over and over until you suck a little less at them.
So we give our kids chances to step up. Chores, decisions, mistakes, wins—it’s all part of the package. The more they take ownership and build small wins, the stronger and more capable they feel. And the less likely they are to call us at age 27 asking how to use the microwave.
Final Dad Thought
Look, parenting is messy. Half the time we’re winging it, the other half we’re googling, “Is this normal for an 8-year-old?”
But if we stay consistent, live by the values we’re trying to teach, and ban a few choice phrases from the house, we’ve got a real shot at raising kids who are ready for the real world.