A Marriage Story with Just the Right Amount of Inappropriateness
On May 30th, 2009, I somehow convinced Kati to marry me. Maybe it was my charm, maybe it was my hairline back then, maybe it was my super human strength—who’s to say?
What I do know is this: 16 years, two amazing kids, a few gray hairs (hers from me, mine from the kids), one chocolate lab and two English bulldogs later—we are still wildly in love, fiercely committed, and occasionally immature… in the best way possible.
Here’s what I think has made us work—and grow—year after year:
We Communicate Like It’s a Full-Time Job
We talk about our feelings. The good, the bad, and the “I didn’t mean to sound like a jerk but I totally did.”
We don’t shove things under rugs (mostly because our dogs would eat the rug), and we don’t let resentment grow roots. We’ve learned to say what we need to say—even if it’s awkward, inconvenient, or makes one of us dramatically sigh like we’re in a soap opera.
We Give Each Other Space (and a Lot of Laughs)
Sometimes you just need quiet time. Or a walk. Or to watch trash TV without judgment.
We don’t take it personally. We don’t smother. But when it’s time to let each other in, we’re all in. Whether it’s deep conversations or cuddling like teenagers—we know when to hold space and when to share it.
Also, side note: Kati has hidden behind more corners trying to scare me than a haunted house employee. One day she will succeed. And I will scream. Loudly. And by one day, I mean yesterday…and every day prior.
We Don’t Keep Score—This Ain’t the NBA
If I wash dishes four nights this week, it doesn’t mean she owes me anything but a wink.
We give our all without counting. We don’t track chores, sacrifices, or “who apologized first.” We’re in it together—100% each, not 50/50. The scoreboard’s in the trash. Probably next to last night’s pizza box.
We Don’t Try to Change Each Other (Even When We Could Totally Improve One Another)
She still leaves the her hair all over the shower. I still make noises that drive her to the brink of madness.
But guess what? We don’t try to fix each other. We love each other as-is—even the quirks, even the chaos. Because that’s the person we fell in love with. And somehow, all those weird little things have become part of the charm.
We Prioritize Us—Because It All Started With Us
Before the kids, the schedules, the late-night practices & tiny humans who snuck into our bed—it was us.
Everything good in our life has flowed from that love. So we protect it. We invest in it. We flirt like newlyweds. We prioritize date nights. I slap her butt roughly 73 times a day. We make each other laugh with wildly inappropriate jokes (sorry, kids). We play. We cuddle.
We stay intentional about keeping “us” fun, connected, and alive—because one day the house will be quiet again, and I plan to still be chasing her down the hallway… just with slightly more grunts and maybe a knee brace.
Marriage Isn’t Easy. But It’s Not That Complicated Either.
It takes work, sure. But more than anything, it takes intention.
We fight sometimes. We make up. We show up. We talk openly with our kids about what love should look like. I want my son to learn how to love a woman by watching me. I want my daughter to know how she deserves to be loved by watching Kati.
And if we keep doing what we’ve done—showing up, loving hard, laughing often—I have no doubt we’ll still be goofing off together at year 60. Maybe slower. Maybe with more naps. But definitely still us.
To My Wife—My Best Friend, My Favorite Person, My Forever Wrestling Match
Happy 16th Anniversary. Thank you for being my partner in love, chaos, and lifelong butt-slap tag.
Here’s to continuing to grow, love, and chase each other around for decades to come.
Even if we’re both wearing orthopedic shoes.